Winter Woman

a reflection in the dark

“When winter comes to a woman’s soul, she withdraws into her inner self, her deepest spaces. She refuses all connection, refutes all arguments that she should engage in the world. She may say she is resting, but she is more than resting: She is creating a new universe within herself, examining, and breaking old patterns, destroying what should not be revived, feeding in secret what needs to thrive. Winter women are those who bring into the next cycle what should be saved. They are the deep conservators of knowledge and power. Not for nothing did ancient peoples honour the grandmother. In her calm deliberateness, she winters over our truth, she freezes out false-heartedness. Look into her eyes, this winter woman. In their gray spaciousness you can see the future. Look out of your own winter eyes… You too can see the future.” ~ Patricia Monaghan

This is where I can be found, in the Winter of my soul…

‘feeding in secret what needs to thrive’.

I am in the places where The Ancestors sit,

listening intently for their words of wisdom.

Few words come

Not because there is no wisdom to share,

rather it is because the wisdom they share is simple

There is a quiet strength here

A rootedness that is often forgotten in our dominant culture

It is in this place that I stir the cauldron of collateral beauty.

I am very quiet…as one must be if one wants to listen

I want to listen

I want to hear what has been

I want to re-member that my challenge and our crisis

is not the first to have come to pass.

So, I listen

I listen to the earth

I hear the wind, the fire, the water

I hear the birds, the four-legged, the human hum

I hear industry and productivity

I hear pain, suffering along side celebration and joy

I hear Life.

What I feed is the wisdom of not knowing and the wisdom of kindness.

Life will end

Others will take our place

This is an absolute.

So, I ask myself…

What is it I want to do with the time that I have?

What matters to my heart…to my soul?

What have the terrains behind me taught me?

What does my heart know to be true? Not my brain…my heart.

Winter is a season of hibernation, moving slowly, taking stalk.

A place where we are called to have courage and move gently, slowly, mindfully

Here, the business of our world is not what is meant to lead us

Instead, we are invited to listen to our hearts, our sprits, our source

To find a place of stillness in which to marinate in the wisdom

gathered throughout the year.

That we might sift through the stories

lovely and heartbreaking and gather the treasures…the tools

that will work with us on our life journey.

As I grow older, I find that the treasures are simpler

maybe, even less

Thoughts are distilled…and thus made clearer

It is a clarity I am often challenged by

But the earth in my bones keeps me here

Steady and Shaking

Age has been a gift

even though the culture I live in

would have me believe something else

There in lies, The Wisdom of Challenge.

I don’t have answers

I only have experiences

Here I remain.